Learning new words: Crossing the Atlantic

Kea (from out of nowhere): "Wanker"
Sierra (incredulous): ".... what?!"
Kea: "Wanker. I don't know why, I just felt like saying it."
Sierra: "Do you know what that means?"
Kea: "No, what does it mean?"
Sierra: "It's a person who beats off a lot."
Kea: "... oh... Is that what 'jolly wanker' means?"
Sierra: "I didn't know that was a term; is it British?"
Kea: "Yes."
Sierra: "Then yes - that's what that means."

If Donald Trump Becomes President... (Part 2)

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/19/trump-stumbles-over-abortion-issue/#more-155514

If Donald Trump Becomes President... (Part 1)

Options:

1. Move to Canada
• Sierra would subsist on Tofu, veggies, and salmon. She would live on a farm in British Columbia (because that's where Ryan Reynolds is from), raise Alpacas and chickens, and domesticate bears like that one marijuana plantation.
• Kea would live in Quebec (so she can speak French), and develop a love for hockey
• Alternately, Kea could live on Sierra's farm, and boss Sierra around all day.
2. Move someplace where we could mistaken for natives 
• Sierra could go to France, or to Italy if she gets a tan. Either way, she has to keep her mouth shut.
• Kea could go to Africa, and keep her mouth shut.
• This could be a problem, since eventually something aggravating would happen and an avalanche of American obscenities would come spilling out of their mouths and the ruse would be DESTROYED. 
3. Move to Australia
• Because they would at least accept our potty mouths, and we wouldn't need to learn another language.
• Also there are kangaroos

To be continued...

Office Shenanigans- Episode # 732: "Like" is such a STRONG word!

*after hearing a story about disturbing an old russian guy (who I've decided is fat and hairly and wrinkly and sweaty for no particular reason) in a sauna...this happened:* (Kea): I've decided that because of what you just said... I don't think I like you... (Sierra): You LOVE me! You know you love me! (Kea): Nope, I don't... I don't believe I know that! (Sierra): Well, then you are mistaken! (Kea): Well now because of what you just said... I've decided to move from "like you"... skip over "dislike you"... skip over "tolerate you in small doses" ... to LOATHING YOU ENTIRELY! (Sierra): Wait... shouldnt you tolerate someone before you decide to dislike them? You would actually tolerate someone you dislike? (Kea): Well yeah... cuz sometimes you work with those people! :oP *smile* (Sierra): Well played...

Office Shenanigans - Episode # 32: Heavenly Lunch

Kea reads soup can label: "RICH & HEARTY Chicken Corn Chowder flavored with Bacon" Kea: This soup is flavored with BACON?!? THIS SOUP WAS MADE BY GOD!!! :oP

Wisdom teeth operation without anesthesia > Country Music

Kea's morning: Saw a pickup truck with a sticker on the window saying "Thank God I'm a Country Man", and a license plate reading "1REDDNK"

Sierra's morning: Waking up to Country music. Again. That's the third time in less than seven days.

Sierra's attitude toward Country music: I'd be willing to have four impacted wisdom teeth removed, using only local anesthesia (meaning I'd be conscious), while listening to country music if it meant I never had to hear country EVER AGAIN. So we're all clear, you hear your own teeth crunching during that operation, which induces panic and vomiting in this little pig.

Happy Wednesday!

Cats > Human Relationships

**watching a commercial where a man proposes to his special lady by giving her a kitten with a tag that reads "will you marry us?"**

Mom: If Dave's watching, I bet he takes a cue from this and that's how he proposes.

Sierra: Oh nice - I get a cat!

Note: There was no hesitation, and it wasn't until after I finished my sentence that I realized that probably wasn't the most appropriate response.