Kea: "Sierra........ What are you doing?"
Sierra: "Learning about platoons"
Kea: "Why?"
S: "So we can put them in our tool"
K: "Why?"
S: "So we can have a greater level of granularity"
K: "Why?"
S: "Because our customer wants it"
K: "Why?"
S: "Because her boss asked her"
**NB: AFTER THIS POINT, EVERYTHING IS SPECULATIVE AND DELIBERATELY UNLIKELY. DO NOT TAKE THIS AS EITHER FACT, OR SOMETHING I REMOTELY BELIEVE ABOUT OUR CLIENT OR HER ORGANIZATION"
K: "Why?"
S: "Because he thought of it on a whim and decided it was a good choice"
K: "Why?"
S: "Alcoholism"
K: "Why?"
S: "Well... He's Catholic you see, and he's trying to repress some memories from when he was an altar boy...."
K: "Why?"
S: "Because the Catholic church doesn't let priests marry"
K: "Why?"
S: "Because they're supposed to focus on their religion, which they can't do if they're concerned about marriage consummation"
K: "Why?"
S: "Because intercourse is distracting."
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Office Shenanigans: Episode #19- 1st Make-OUT Party
*listening to "The Nanny" episodes on Youtube and Fran is excited about Maggie going to her first Make-out party.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sierra: I would never be that excited as a mother about my daughter being invited to something like that
Future-Imaginary-Mom-Sierra: You're 14 and I do not condone you going to this party! I know what types of thing you children plan on doing at that party! Is that a Bottle in your bag? GO PUT THAT BACK IN MY CLOSET! That's for Mommy and Daddy!
**Later**
Future-Imaginary-Mom-Sierra: (playing Spin the Bottle w/ husband): *spin*... Welp... Looks like WE WON'T be kissing tonight... But apparently it looks like I'm going to be making out with that chair over there. YOUR TURN!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sierra: I would never be that excited as a mother about my daughter being invited to something like that
Future-Imaginary-Mom-Sierra: You're 14 and I do not condone you going to this party! I know what types of thing you children plan on doing at that party! Is that a Bottle in your bag? GO PUT THAT BACK IN MY CLOSET! That's for Mommy and Daddy!
**Later**
Future-Imaginary-Mom-Sierra: (playing Spin the Bottle w/ husband): *spin*... Welp... Looks like WE WON'T be kissing tonight... But apparently it looks like I'm going to be making out with that chair over there. YOUR TURN!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Office Shenanigans- Episode 47: Resolved
(*click click clickedy click*... the sound of Sierra typing away... much to the chagrin of Kea's ear drums... so this happened...)
Kea: I really need to make a New Year's Resolution. I think next year I am going to stop stifling my feelings and go with my gut in my decision making!
Sierra: Well that's always a good thing to do.
Kea: Oh yeah... even if my gut is telling me to PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE?
Epilogue: Sierra proceeds to look for something to throw at Kea but she is unsuccessful! Ha Ha I win this round! :oP
Kea: I really need to make a New Year's Resolution. I think next year I am going to stop stifling my feelings and go with my gut in my decision making!
Sierra: Well that's always a good thing to do.
Kea: Oh yeah... even if my gut is telling me to PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE?
Epilogue: Sierra proceeds to look for something to throw at Kea but she is unsuccessful! Ha Ha I win this round! :oP
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Sierra is fat, and Kea is a little slow
**Sierra returns to the office with a doughnut and a mug, and proceeds to prepare her mug by putting tea and sugar in it**
Kea: "So, I definitely just saw you out of the corner of my eye, and this side of my brain said 'Sierra, what the hell are you doing?' thinking you were dipping your doughnut in sugar. Then the other side of my brain said 'You're stupid. Shut up. Don't you DARE send a message to the mouth that says 'Sierra, what the hell is wrong with you?' we're doing damage control'. And so I proceed to tell you what the left side of my brain is doing, and how it's stupid."
Kea: "So, I definitely just saw you out of the corner of my eye, and this side of my brain said 'Sierra, what the hell are you doing?' thinking you were dipping your doughnut in sugar. Then the other side of my brain said 'You're stupid. Shut up. Don't you DARE send a message to the mouth that says 'Sierra, what the hell is wrong with you?' we're doing damage control'. And so I proceed to tell you what the left side of my brain is doing, and how it's stupid."
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Will you give me a Screaming Orgasm?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEA SHOTS/DRINKS
Fuzzy Navel
Red Headed Slut
Lemon Drop Martini
Buttery Nipple
Washington Apple
KamiKaze
Mojito
Four Horsemen
Screaming Orgasm
After 9 shots... This happened:
Kea: (drunken state) This Screaming Orgasm is ok but I don't think it compares to the real thing
*Kea looks around this table to all the males and decides to make advances toward Mark (who magically morphs into a sexy beast... after about 6. 78 shots)*
Kea: Hey Mark? Are you prepared to give me a Screaming Orgasm?
Mark: Well, I mean, It is your BIRTHDAY!
LOL! Thanks guys! :oP It was an awesome day! I love you all so much!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Dave calls during the day:
**Sierra looks at her phone and realizes she's missed a call from Dave & calls back**
Dave (rushed): "Hi, I know you're at work but this will be really quick"
Sierra: "Ok. What's up?"
Dave: "My car's covered in snow*, and it's bull#@%$"
Sierra: "Yes, yes it is"
Dave: "Love you, bye"
I like having a boyfriend who will take the time out of his day to concisely interrupt what I'm doing with unnecessary but amusing tidbits!
*Dave is currently in Norfolk, where it BARELY ever snows.
Dave (rushed): "Hi, I know you're at work but this will be really quick"
Sierra: "Ok. What's up?"
Dave: "My car's covered in snow*, and it's bull#@%$"
Sierra: "Yes, yes it is"
Dave: "Love you, bye"
I like having a boyfriend who will take the time out of his day to concisely interrupt what I'm doing with unnecessary but amusing tidbits!
*Dave is currently in Norfolk, where it BARELY ever snows.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Symantics, pt. 1
Sierra: "In cases like this, it's not a good idea to give me something to 'look over one last time before sending it out'"
Kea: "Yeah..... I've kind of noticed that if you can find any way of rewording something you will."
Sierra: "But sometimes I find useful things! Like when I found that we'd written 'an additive' instead of just 'additive'. 'An additive' is something people put in heroin; 'additive' - the adjective - is something people can use to describe metrics"
**we go back and forth about whether anyone cares or notices for a while**
Kea: "I'm kind of afraid to ask this... because I'll think that there's a 50/50 chance you'll say yes. Are you one of those people who reads the manuals that come with every electronic - like computers and stuff?"
Sierra: "No, of course not"
Kea: "EXACTLY. So in the middle of the manual it could just say 'at midnight, the computer will turn into a dog' and you'd have NO idea because NO ONE reads those!"
Sierra: **deflated sense of self-importance as she realizes her anal retentive attention to detail is truly excessive**
Kea: "Yeah..... I've kind of noticed that if you can find any way of rewording something you will."
Sierra: "But sometimes I find useful things! Like when I found that we'd written 'an additive' instead of just 'additive'. 'An additive' is something people put in heroin; 'additive' - the adjective - is something people can use to describe metrics"
**we go back and forth about whether anyone cares or notices for a while**
Kea: "I'm kind of afraid to ask this... because I'll think that there's a 50/50 chance you'll say yes. Are you one of those people who reads the manuals that come with every electronic - like computers and stuff?"
Sierra: "No, of course not"
Kea: "EXACTLY. So in the middle of the manual it could just say 'at midnight, the computer will turn into a dog' and you'd have NO idea because NO ONE reads those!"
Sierra: **deflated sense of self-importance as she realizes her anal retentive attention to detail is truly excessive**
PSA: People Aren't Food!
Take a bite of an apple
Take a bite of a pear
Take a bite of the cookie
that you left over there
Here's one thing you should never do
Don't bite Taylor, or Brandon or Sue
Because people aren't food!
PEOPLE AREN'T FOOD!
Your friends will run away
if they're scared of being chewed.
... and as a side note: Private parts are private!
**from abc's "Modern Family"
Take a bite of a pear
Take a bite of the cookie
that you left over there
Here's one thing you should never do
Don't bite Taylor, or Brandon or Sue
Because people aren't food!
PEOPLE AREN'T FOOD!
Your friends will run away
if they're scared of being chewed.
... and as a side note: Private parts are private!
**from abc's "Modern Family"
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Office Shenanigans- Episode 13: Eating Chipotle
Kea: Sierra, Why don't YOU ever mae me this happy?
Sierra: Because I'm not as DELICIOUS!
Sierra: Because I'm not as DELICIOUS!
Office Shenanigans: Episode 182: Air Force 1
Kea: Why is the cover of your speaker under my desk?
Sierra: Because my speaked fell earlier
Kea: Well yeah, but I didn't know it fell in PIECES?!!
Sierra: Really? ...*looks under desk*... Aww Man!!!
*Sierra climbs under desk to retieve speaker pieces*
Sierra: I hope not comes and see me like... OH SWEET! AN AIRPLANE! :oD
***Note: The "airplane" is actually a paper airplane, made from a coupon for something, that was thrown across the room at me (Kea) but didn't quite make it. It has been under our desks for a little while now... until episode 182.
Sierra: Because my speaked fell earlier
Kea: Well yeah, but I didn't know it fell in PIECES?!!
Sierra: Really? ...*looks under desk*... Aww Man!!!
*Sierra climbs under desk to retieve speaker pieces*
Sierra: I hope not comes and see me like... OH SWEET! AN AIRPLANE! :oD
***Note: The "airplane" is actually a paper airplane, made from a coupon for something, that was thrown across the room at me (Kea) but didn't quite make it. It has been under our desks for a little while now... until episode 182.
Office Shenanigans- Episode 181: Blindsided
Kea: Ugh! My hair is dirty. Sierra, Why didn't you tell me my hair is dirty
Sierra: *sweetly* ...Cuz I think it's pretty!
Kea: *scoff* Are you BLIND?
Sierra: No, I usually just avoid looking at you that much!...
Sierra: *sweetly* ...Cuz I think it's pretty!
Kea: *scoff* Are you BLIND?
Sierra: No, I usually just avoid looking at you that much!...
Office Shenanigans- Episode 180: Toe the Line
Kea: What is that?
Sierra: Yogurt w/ hunny
Kea: Eww. Looks Disgusting!
Sierra: It's good for LADIES
Kea: ... then why are YOU eating it?
Sierra: Jerk... It's good for WOMEN in general and anyone with LADY PARTS...
Kea:: ...*pause*... *devilish grin*...
Sierra: DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING!
Kea: LOL! I saw the line and decided not to cross it!
Sierra: Yogurt w/ hunny
Kea: Eww. Looks Disgusting!
Sierra: It's good for LADIES
Kea: ... then why are YOU eating it?
Sierra: Jerk... It's good for WOMEN in general and anyone with LADY PARTS...
Kea:: ...*pause*... *devilish grin*...
Sierra: DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING!
Kea: LOL! I saw the line and decided not to cross it!
Office Shenanigans- Episode 179: Hostile Environment
Kea: This is so Unfair!
Sierra: Your FACE is unfair!
Kea: *GASP*
Sierra: Oh don't look so suprised!
*** Note: So ...there aren't actually 178 episodes before this one... 179 is just a random number I chose because it sounded good at the time! Feel better? You didn't miss anything important little pig! :o)
Sierra: Your FACE is unfair!
Kea: *GASP*
Sierra: Oh don't look so suprised!
*** Note: So ...there aren't actually 178 episodes before this one... 179 is just a random number I chose because it sounded good at the time! Feel better? You didn't miss anything important little pig! :o)
Bonjour Mes Amis!
Hey Guys! Kea Here! Sierra is right about one thing: We (I) are (am) AWESOME! We've been working together for about a year now and it seems that we have waaaay too much fun to keep it all to ourselves. Enjoy! ... and remember no one is allowed to touch you in your bathing suit area!
Warning: Reading this blog may cause burning, itching, a gooey rash, hallucinations, loss of bladder control, scarlet fever, maiming, impalement, full dialation of the right pupil, addiction, another severe addiction to the drug helping you get off your first addiction, the need to sell your body on the street to feed said severe addiction, skin failure, male pregnancy, fear of clowns, x-ray vision, full body shrinkage and a Russian Accent.
*** Should any of these occur... please tell us cuz that would be FREAKIN" HILARIOUS! (oh... then you should probably get to a doctor)
Have a Happy Life Loves! :o)
Warning: Reading this blog may cause burning, itching, a gooey rash, hallucinations, loss of bladder control, scarlet fever, maiming, impalement, full dialation of the right pupil, addiction, another severe addiction to the drug helping you get off your first addiction, the need to sell your body on the street to feed said severe addiction, skin failure, male pregnancy, fear of clowns, x-ray vision, full body shrinkage and a Russian Accent.
*** Should any of these occur... please tell us cuz that would be FREAKIN" HILARIOUS! (oh... then you should probably get to a doctor)
Have a Happy Life Loves! :o)
Hello World!
Hello world! I'm Sierra. I work in an office with a woman named Kea, and we have a rediculously awesome time. I'm more in charge of data analysis things, she's more in charge of computer programming things. Together, we make a GREAT team. Kea has added a teddy-bear named "China" to our team, but I still don't acknowledge her validity due to her lack of a central nervous system.
We also may be among the best people alive today. Yourself included. As such, we have decided to reconstruct the world with will power and imagination. Enjoy!
We also may be among the best people alive today. Yourself included. As such, we have decided to reconstruct the world with will power and imagination. Enjoy!
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